“Wynonna Earp” Season 3 Premiere: There’s Vamps in Town

Rejoice Earpers, because our favorite shitshow is back! The Wynonna Earp season 3 premiere is just as fun and wild as you remember! At the end of season 2 Wynonna and Doc had to give up their baby, Alice Michelle, to Gus to keep her safe from all the craziness in Purgatory. Nicole and Dolls were clearly working on something together that had to deal with the Big Bad, Bulshar, and some sort of cult around him. Waverly and Nicole seemed to be on pretty good terms after getting over the whole Nicole-has-a-wife-and-Waverly-kissed-Rosita-thing, but Waverly also knows she is not really an Earp. When ‘Blood Red And Going Down’ begins, it is 19 weeks after Bulshar’s resurrection and saying bye to Alice, meaning our heroes are still dealing with everything that they went through in season 2. The episode was written by the brilliant Emily Andras and directed by Paolo Barzman, and here’s what went down!

The Return of Pussy Willows | The episode opens with Waverly (Dominique Provost-Chalkley) and Nicole (Katherine Barrell) staking out Pussy Willows, while Wynonna (Melanie Scrofano) is inside doing the most Wynonna thing you can think of, riding a mechanical bull…very drunk. After she gets kicked out she’s surrounded by revenants taunting her about “losing” her baby. Wynonna doesn’t put up with this non-sense, quickly kicking their asses and sending them back to hell with Peacemaker and the assistance of Dolls (Shamier Anderson), Doc (Tim Rozon), and Jeremy (Varun Saranga).

Visitors in Purgatory | Nedley (Greg Lawson) and Lonnie (Chris Casson) are on the Purgatory border when some new visitors roll up in a fancy party bus. The strangers dress differently and have a strange pink cloud that follows them around, and after just a few moments it is revealed that they are vampires. These vamps can go out in the sunlight and glamour anyone they touch, including Nedley. He lets them into the town, and things immediately get bad. They kill Lonnie [R.I.P.] and head right into Purgatory unopposed.

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Bonus Blankets and Barn Brawls | The next morning, Waverly and Nicole wake up in bed together and share an adorable conversation showing that they are both over their transgressions of last season. Waverly can hear Wynonna out in the barn training and heads down to check on her while Nicole gets an alarming call from Nedley. Inside the barn, Wynonna and Doc are sparring, and have been all night. There is a definite tension between the pair, and Wynonna later tells Waves that Doc doesn’t touch her unless they’re training, and that he doesn’t talk to her unless he is angry. I guess he’s not taking losing Alice very well.

“All Hands on Deck” | Back at Pussy Willows, the team is following up on Nedley’s phone call to Nicole where they discover a horrible cult-like murder scene. Everyone was killed in the same way at the same time, then arranged into a specific shape. A shape that is also carved into the body one victim, and when Nicole sees it she begins to freak out, but not before revealing she’s been working on this case for months and these kinds of killings have been going on for almost a hundred years. They’re known as the Cult of Bulshar. Wynonna keeps looking around and comes across a scar-faced man who looks like he could be in some sort of military, who leaves a bloody handprint on a poster about her mom, but he gets away. Waverly takes Nicole to the bathroom to calm down, where they are met with Petra (Claire McConnell), the prettiest of vampires. Petra quickly glamours Waverly, and Nicole exits the stall somehow glamoured already and knows exactly who and what Petra is.

“Kinda Sexy Fog” | Doc finds Jeremy in the basement of Shorty’s working on Dolls’ drugs since Rosita is no longer around to make them. While down there, the vampires enter Shorty’s, drawing Doc and Jeremy back upstairs with the pink fog. They’ve killed and fed off of Doc’s patrons, and the gunslinger is not happy. It’s too bad he gets captured by them while Jeremy meets a flashy vamp that quickly glamours him [though tbh, I’m not sure Jeremy needed to be glamoured, he’s a sucker for a good looking dude].

Crazy Mama | Wynonna goes to meet her mother again, and guess where she’s at….prison. But Mama (Megan Follows) isn’t what we thought she would be. She’s hearing voices, voices that tell her about Bulshar, but she definitely doesn’t seem to be all there. She tells Wynonna to protect Waverly, then yells into the ether that her daughters are “off limits.” As Wynonna is leaving she gets her mothers files with a little help from Dolls. Unfortunately most of the information has been redacted. Wynonna recalls her mother being taken away, and her father told her and Willa to tell Waves that she just ran off, explaining why Waverly has crazy fantasies of their mom joining a rodeo. Dolls soon comes face-to-face with Petra, who tries to glamour him, but since he’s part lizard-dragon he isn’t effected.

Stripper Pole Prisoner | Doc ends up in the vampires party bus, handcuffed to the stripper pole. There’s one vamp inside with him, and she wants proof that he’s the real Doc Holliday, so she electrocutes him. It doesn’t take him long to realize that he knows this vampire from his past, only she want’s a vampire when he knew her. He calls her Countessa [though we know her character is named Kate, played by Chantel Riley] to show familiarity with her, and she knocks him out. When she returns later, it’s to tell him that she doesn’t want him to share her fate. She leaves and he breaks out of the van.

It’s Not a Surprise Rihanna Concert | Wynonna returns to the Homestead and sees that sexy pink fog coming from the barn, and when she investigates she finds and quickly disposes of the vampire responsible. She runs inside to warn everyone and finds Nicole, Waverly, and Jeremy all dressed to the nines for the fancy vampire party. Because they’re all still glamoured they knock out Wynonna and put her in a casket to be given to the vampires. When they arrive at the party, it seems like the whole town has showed up, or at least everyone still alive has. The vampires want to separate everyone into original Purgatory families, such as the Earp’s, and everyone else. The original families will be offered to Bulshar to do whatever he wants with, while everyone else will become a vamp snack. WayHaught prove their love for each other yet again when even glamoured Waverly doesn’t want Nicole to be eaten. She doesn’t want to see Nicole be a victim, and something clicks for Nicole. She says “I’m a survivor. No, I’m THE survivor.” SURVIVOR OF WHAT, NICOLE?!?!?

“I’ll tell ya what you can eat, a dick!” | Dolls finds Wynonna inside the casket in the Gardner’s house, dressed in party attire she can only assume Jeremy picked out. They confirm that they both know about the vampires, and Dolls brought along his handy dandy vampire extermination kit, full of stakes and instructions on how to stake them. But they know that won’t be enough stakes, so CUE THE STAKE MAKING MONTAGE. They rip chairs off the wall [yes, there were chairs hanging on the walls of the basement] and turn those suckers into vamp killing stakes! They crash the party and begin killing the vampires, releasing the people they’ve glamoured. The whole team begins disposing of vampires left and right. Nicole gets touched by another vamp and re-glamoured for a hot second, but Waves takes the vamp out and releases her love from its glamour. They take out just about all of the vampires, minus the one from Doc’s past and the weirdo “leader”, who they send back to Bulshar empty handed. And his boss is NOT happy. When he goes to deliver the news, Bulshar (Jean Marchand) is occampanied by the scar-faced man from before, and Bulshar forces something into the vampires mouth.

“Welcome back, Holliday” | Wynonna meets Doc at Shorty’s after everything to toast to Alice, and they FINALLY KISS AGAIN. And let me tell you, it was a HOTTTTT kiss. Dolls, Jeremy, and Waves bring Chinese food and they all fill each other in on what happened.

The Truth | Nicole is still shaken up by the Cult killings, and Dolls finds out why. Nicole remembers something from her past, she’s the only Cult of Bulshar survivor. Maybe that’s how Petra was able to glamour her without touching her? Meanwhile, Wynonna takes Waverly for a little drive to the prison. She begins to tell Waverly the truth about Mama when something causes Wynonna to swerve and crash the truck. The episode closes with a very unpleasant cliffhanger, Waverly being dragged off by someone while she yells about her sister still being inside.

What a crazy premiere!!! It had everything we’ve been missing for almost a year! Wynonna kicked ass, killed revenants, and the whole team dispatched the vampires of the Cult of Bulshar! We also got some amazing WayHaught scenes and some WynDoc love! What do you think could be coming for the rest of the season? Let us know your predictions in the comments below!

Wynonna Earp airs Friday nights at 9pm on Syfy!

Photo Credit: Michelle Faye/Wynonna Earp Season 3, Inc./Syfy
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