If your heart didn’t stop multiple times during “Legacies'” latest, “Kai Parker Screwed Us,” are you even a true fan? Chris Wood’s return delivered the goods in one of the strongest, most intense and craziest episodes in “Legacies” history.
Alaric, Josie and Lizzie are trapped in another realm with none other than Kai Parker, who takes full advantage of Josie in order to escape. Lizzie discovers the truth about Sebastian, while Alaric sees some familiar faces with a vendetta.
The Supernatural Hunger Games | Picking up where two episodes ago left off, Alaric, Lizzie and Josie wake up in the other realm with Sebastian and Lizzie is naturally pissed that her father lied to her about him leaving of his own free will. Alaric orders the twins to stay at the school and arm themselves while he goes to look for someone in a bar, only to see an empty chair.
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Meanwhile, Josie is attacked by Jade, a very attractive vampire who is quickly killed by none other than Kai Parker, who offers to help Josie escape the realm, even though Josie knows full well that he’s the one who killed her biological mother and neither party trusts the other. But the Saltzmans have bigger fish to fry, as Jade’s pals Diego and Wendy, a werewolf and witch respectively, arrive to torture Alaric at the bar. Kai and Josie arrive to rescue him, which naturally disturbs Alaric, but in one of the episode’s many surprises, Josie knocks out Alaric and chains him to his chair so she can work with Kai to escape.
Lizzie’s Cinderella Moment | Sebastian and Lizzie, meanwhile, are having a much happier time as Sebastian takes Lizzie on a wonderful date in the empty realm, even dancing with her while she’s wearing a “Cinderella”-esque dress, and asks her to stay with him in the realm forever. As as added incentive, he offers to turn her into a vampire, sparing her and Josie from the Merge, so they can be together forever.
Lizzie is tempted by the offer, but tells Sebastian that she can’t make the decision until she knows if she wants to have kids and a future. But Sebastian won’t take no for an answer: In Shocking Twist #2, he’s dosed her wine with his blood and is taking the choice away from her; if she dies, she’s a vampire. Lizzie is horrified, even more so when Sebastian calls her Cassandra seconds after declaring that he loves her. She knocks him out and somehow hijacks a cop car to drive back to Mystic Falls.
Judge, Jury and Executioner | Alaric is confronted by Jade, Diego and Wendy, who are ex students of the School who were caught having killed and incinerated a group of high schoolers. They’re all in league with Kai, with Jade sleeping with him on the side, in exchange for escape and revenge against Alaric. Jade reveals that the deaths they caused were accidental, as Jade took the others to meet a girl she liked and they were just jerks who were making fun of them. Diego mauled one kid, setting off violence that ended with Jade shutting off her humanity after feeling incredible guilt for killing the kids, but Alaric simply banished them to the realm. Jade promises to spare Josie if Alaric plays a “Ready or Not” level game of hide and seek that will end with them killing him.
Kai steals a vial of Bonnie’s blood from Josie and leaves her at the bar where he was trapped as he heads off to escape. But Josie screws him over and replaces the blood with vodka, which actually impresses Kai. He abandons the others, leaving Jade a note saying, “Thanks for the sex,” but Jade doesn’t care because A: She prefers girls, and B: She’s found Alaric’s location in the school’s armory.
And then, Shocking Twists #3-7 in rapid succession: Kai calls Josie and informs her that he’s found his own way out of the realm and Josie has one chance and one chance only to escape herself- She has to shatter the black magic hourglass exactly as she foresaw. The dark magic will corrupt her and make her powerful enough to escape and to make matters exponentially worse, Kai’s way out is to leap into the realm’s version of Malivore and erase himself from memory, meaning Josie has mere seconds to make the decision before she forgets about him. As Kai leaps into the pit, Josie destroys the hourglass, and Lizzie crashes the cop car, seemingly killing her and triggering her transition. Kai emerges in our world from the Necromancer’s pit and cackles like a madman. We’re totally screwed, aren’t we?
“Legacies” airs Thursdays on The CW.