Just as the American Civil War marches on, we see the spark of a war beginning to flare among the Dickinson family. In Dickinson Season 3, Episode 2, “It feels a shame to be Alive –,” the tension between Austin Dickinson (Adrian Blake Enscoe) and his father mounts after their argument over dinner, potentially driving a wedge between other family members. Emily Dickinson (Hailee Steinfeld) tries to intervene and keep her family from falling apart, all the while remaining by Sue Gilbert’s (Ella Hunt) side during the birth of her and Austin’s baby and providing a longtime friend with some much-needed hope as he descends into the uncertainty of his fate in the Civil War.
A War at Home | Emily wakes up from what feels like a nightmare. Heart pumping, Emily asks her sister Lavinia (Anna Baryshnikov) if their father, Mr. Dickinson (Toby Huss), is dead. Lavinia assures Emily that their father is alive after suffering a heart attack during his confrontation with their brother Austin over dinner the night before. Emily and Lavinia rehash the events that led up to Mr. Dickinson’s collapse, and Lavinia ponders whether the terrible things Austin said about their dad are true. Is he at fault for their unhappiness?
For Lavinia, marriage has always sat high on a pedestal, and in the present day, marriage feels unreachable now that she is older and “everyone [she] has ever loved is gone.” Emily warmly reminds Lavinia that she still has her and her family. This statement serves as a touching reminder of the importance of family during a time of despair. Emily goes on to tell Lavinia that she will not allow their family fall apart. The first step to prevent further conflict will be to convince Austin that he must apologize to their father for the hurtful things he said.
An Unconditional Love | Sue’s hunger is insatiable as she approaches the birth of her baby. Emily walks in on Sue consuming enough food to feed a small army for breakfast. The two of them speak of the argument that Austin and Mr. Dickinson had. When Emily tells Sue that the reason for her visit is to find Austin and make him apologize to her father, Sue is disappointed. Sue had hoped that Emily was there to visit her. Emily reads Sue’s disappointment and explains that her family is in chaos and Austin must repair the damage he did. Emily is in disbelief that Austin would tell their father that he is at fault for their family’s misery, but Sue holds a different opinion.
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Sue agrees with what Austin said because she has watched Mr. and Mrs. Dickinson (Jane Krakowski) reject Emily and her gift as a poet, treating her as if she’s crazy her entire life. “Maybe I’m just noticing this more because I’m about to be a mother,” Sue explains to Emily. Sue believes a child should be loved unconditionally, the same way that Sue loves Emily; And with this, Sue shares with Emily how much she loves her and wishes the two of them could run away together and raise the baby as a family. In response, Emily admits that she would miss her family regardless of the unfair treatment she receives. Sue, however, doesn’t believe Emily’s statement.
Suddenly, Sue goes into contractions and sends a panicked Emily to get help. Emily races home as quickly as her feet will take her.
“Sue’s Baby Goat is On Its Way” | Mrs. Dickinson and Lavinia are bedside with Mr. Dickinson when Emily rushes through the bedroom door. “Help! Help! Everybody, Sue’s having the baby!”, declares Emily. Mrs. Dickinson immediately brightens at the prospect of delivering her first grandchild. Apparently, the Norcross family is known for delivering babies of all kinds: humans, goats, calves, and the like.
Lavinia is tasked with caring for her father while Mrs. Dickinson, Emily, and the Dickinson family housekeeper, Maggie (Darlene Hunt), make a mad dash to prepare for Sue’s delivery.
“The Pain is How You Know You’re Still Alive” | Sue’s contractions have intensified. Maggie offers her a whiff of chloroform (since Queen Victoria swears by it), but Mrs. Dickinson insists that Sue delivers her baby “au naturel”. It’s very clear to everyone in the room that Mrs. Dickinson is taking the reins when she lands a hard slap across Sue’s face when Sue begins expressing to Emily that she doesn’t think she can give birth to the baby. Mrs. Dickinson gives Sue a little pep talk and Sue snaps out of it.
Contractions begin to happen more frequently and Emily suggests that she get Austin so that he can be there for the birth of his baby. Sue snatches Emily’s hand before she could leave and tells her that Emily must stay because she needs her; And, there’s no way Emily is leaving with Sue’s death grip on her hand.
Sippin’ on Some (Maple) Sizzurp | While Sue is preparing to give birth to Austin’s first child, he is out maple sugaring with friends to give Frazer Stearns (Will Pullen) a warm farewell before Frazer leaves to join the Union cavalry. Frazer enquires about Emily’s whereabouts because he wants to say goodbye to her, but Austin informs him that he isn’t speaking with his family. Frazer is struck with sorrow while his friends, who will miss Frazer dearly, send him off with three cheers: “Hip, hip. Hooray! Hip, hip. Hooray! Hip, hip. Hooray!”
Dante and the Inferno | Emily takes a moment to herself in the corner of Sue’s bedroom to construct a poem as she reflects upon the American Civil War:
“Are we that wait—sufficient worth—
That such Enormous Pearl
As life—dissolved be—for Us—
In Battle’s—horrid Bowl?”
Sue lays on her side nauseous with pain. Mrs. Dickinson sits behind her and massages Sue’s lower back to provide Sue with some comfort and relief. Emily becomes restless waiting for the baby’s arrival and then gets hit with her own case of nausea when Mrs. Dickinson checks to see how dilated Sue is for an estimated time of arrival. After approximately three more hours of waiting, Emily asks to be excused. When she leaves the room, a guest arrives at the front door. To Emily’s surprise, Frazer has come to speak with her before he heads for war. With hours to go before the baby is delivered, Emily invites Frazer in for a drink.
They sit in the parlor and speak of the possibility of Frazer’s death, the death that Emily had a premonition of years before. Emily attempts to retract what she had said, but Frazer stops her. He then thanks her for being truthful with him about what the war might cost and for not giving him false hope. Emily counters by asking “what if hope is all we have?” Frazer makes it a point to tell Emily that he doesn’t believe she is crazy, but instead, she is unafraid to face the truth even when it’s tragic and dark. He likens her to Dante going into the Inferno and returning to talk about it.
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A Country Divided | Lavinia reads the Boston Post newspaper to Mr. Dickinson while he rests in bed. She reads an excerpt about that latest victory by General Lee in which 2,000 Union soldiers were killed and 7,000 injured. Lavinia can’t help but to sink further into despair with the additional 2,000 men dead and unavailable for marriage. Mr. Dickinson interrupts her self-pity to ask if the newspaper lists any names of deceased Confederate soldiers.
It turns out that Mr. Dickinson’s brother Sam is fighting for the Confederates, and to his disappointment, the Boston Post doesn’t provide a list of names of Confederate casualties. Mr. Dickinson believes it to be a shameful time to be alive with all of the hatred and division within the nation. He ponders if it would have been better to have passed away from his heart attack. Lavinia is saddened by the thought of her father passing, and at that moment, she seems to relieve him of any fault he may have had in her life of solitude.
“Don’t Go” | Austin and Jane Humphrey (Gus Birney) are walking back to town when Jane breaks it to Austin that after being a widow for two years, she is marrying a man named Pierre and moving to Vietnam. Austin is heartbroken and begs her to stay. He pleads with Jane, but it’s too late. Jane and her son Billy will be leaving that next day.
Real Hope | Back at Sue and Austin’s home, Emily and Frazer are wrapping up their conversation before Frazer heads out. Frazer requests a poem from Emily to keep in his breast pocket while he is fighting the Civil War. “Your words will bring me hope… Real hope. The kind that’s brave enough to admit that sometimes things don’t get better,” Frazer tells Emily. To bring hope to someone is all Emily wants in the world. She smiles and gives Frazer the poem she wrote that day:
“It feels a shame to be Alive—
When Men so brave—are dead—
One envies the Distinguished Dust—
Permitted—such a Head—”
Frazer thanks her and leaves.
A Family Divided | Just as Frazer exits, Maggie rushes into the parlor to get Emily. “The baby’s crowning. Emily, come quick!” Maggie exclaims. Emily rushes back to the room. Moments after the baby is born, Emily finds Austin outside drunk and urinating. When Austin learns that he’s missed his baby’s birth, he grows agitated. “How come no one came and got me?” he asks Emily. Before Austin goes inside, Emily addresses the argument that Austin and their father had the night before.
Emily tries to convince Austin that he needs to apologize and restore harmony within the family, but Austin refuses. Before going into the house, Austin tells her that we will never speak to their father again. “This is a house divided, Emily,” Austin says to Emily. “And sooner or later, you’re gonna have to ick sides.” Emily stands there stunned and speechless. Will she need to pick a side?
Dickinson Season 3 is now available to stream on Apple TV+.